When Danger Lurks Behind Your Own Front Door

Home. It’s where you should feel safe and protected.

But behind some front doors in our community there is real danger for many women and children.

Last year in Harrison there were 200 police reports of domestic violence. That is only the tip of the iceberg of a much larger problem.

For those that report domestic violence there are far more who suffer in silence. It is estimated that 25 percent of women will experience domestic violence over their lifetimes while less than 3 percent will report the incident.

Many of those who do report the violence do so from hospital emergency rooms where they are already suffering severe injuries.

Some of the 200 front doors that hide these nightmares of domestic violence are in our poorer neighborhoods in houses that already appear bleak. But others are in well-to-do neighborhoods where the children attend private schools and the women appear to have every economic advantage.

Harrison resident Penny Pepe is the Director of Emergency Shelter for Hope’s Door, an organization that offers a safe haven to these women and children.

“Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate by race or social-economic status,” she said.

We can expect an even greater amount of domestic violence in the near future. Statistics show that domestic violence increases in difficult economic times like those we are currently facing. Police Chief Anthony Marraccini has made clear that they are already seeing local domestic violence on the rise.

The first signs of abuse can appear innocuous.

“An abuser will often begin by weakening their partner’s outside support,” Pepe said. “They will isolate their victims from family and friends and keep track of everything they do and everywhere they go. They will deny them access to money and other financial assets. They will often be jealous and controlling.”

When the victims are isolated and feeling trapped the abuse will escalate.

“It may start as verbally insulting them in front of others or when they are alone or by physically punishing the children, then escalate into hitting, kicking and punching,” Pepe said. “The victims are usually threatened that it will be much worse if they tell anyone.”

One of Hope’s Door’s teenage victims, whose name is being withheld, said that the secret abuse isolates victims even further.

“Even after my ex-boyfriend tried to strangle me, I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t know where to turn, I felt stuck,” she said.

By the time the abuse becomes known it has often been suffered for an extended period and the victims are suffering from feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness. For that reason, many are not ready to leave their abuser.

Hope’s Door helps victims learn to assess danger and take appropriate steps whether they decide to leave or to stay in the relationship. If they do leave, the victims are given life skills, job skills training and interviewing assistance to help them to become self-sufficient. Victims can stay up to four months in the emergency shelter and then will be placed into transitional housing

Pepe has one overriding message for these victims.

“You are not alone,” she said. “Call us, or call 211. Help is available.”

Pepe has seen firsthand what a safe environment means to these adult and child victims of abuse.

“A mother came in with a tiny daughter who would not say a word. The daughter was so traumatized that she clung to her mothers’ leg even when her mother was taking a shower. She was terrified and wouldn’t leave her side. Then one day she just let go, smiled, and came to me and said hello. Tears ran down my face because I knew that this little girl finally felt safe-maybe for the first time ever,” she said.

Home is where you should feel safe and protected. Hope’s Door, and other local organizations like it, is a place to call when you're not.

Call Hope’s Door’s free confidential hotline 24 hours a day on: 888-438-8700. Services in Spanish: 914-747-0828. Donors are asked to volunteer time, financial or other support: 914-747-0828.