The causes of stress are different for everyone but no one will argue that divorce is one of them. Whether you have chosen to divorce, or are being left by your spouse, your emotions will range from hurt, anger, fear, sadness, resentment and guilt, to mention just a few.
Divorce is a monumental change in your life. It is natural to worry about where you will live, your finances, your children and your career. Questions such as how you will find a job if you are moving, how you will juggle your job without the help of your spouse, how you will re-enter the job market are all common place. What will happen to friendships with mutual friends or how to find love again are equally natural concerns.
And in the midst of this emotional turmoil and the stressors of an already busy life, is an unfamiliar, time-consuming project called divorce. You already can’t imagine being able to navigate your day to day tasks without being overcome by emotions that will interfere with your job and your children’s lives. You need an empathetic ear and a helping hand.
Enlist the help and support of a non-critical and non- judgmental friend or relative. If you don’t have someone who fits the bill, and depending on your beliefs and finances, use a professional, go to a support group or talk to a cleric. And don’t you be critical of yourself.
At a later part of the divorce journey, when you are further removed from your initial emotions you should consider examining what problems you brought to the relationship and what you can do differently in future relationships with friends, family and potential partners.
You are entitled to have fun. If you are reading this as you begin the divorce process, you may not imagine that divorce will and does bring unimagined opportunities, new friendships and positive shifts in relationships. Great growth and personal development can come from the divorce experience. And although no one goes into a marriage hoping for a divorce, this like many of life’s unexpected transitions, can have a silver lining.
"Divorce Information Now" is an ongoing blog. Readers are encouraged to submit questions about divorce in the comment stream and we will respond in subsequent blogs.
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